you lose faith

and the best way to not be reminded and, two-fold, to not run the risk of regaining it, is to avoid.

avoid all you can that you know to be ultimately beneficial to your intellectual and spiritual self:

wherever the darkest center of your issue lies.

no smiling, no laughter.

no easy relaxation,

never to let the worry cease. never to just let go

and enjoy. oh

but you talk about it at length with the occasional ear but

knowing what to do – “understanding” – is

not doing it: thereby reaching the most pure and true

understanding of self and purpose


it remains elusive and I lag in the dust

looking up from the smog to

what I know is

clarity in the sky


death becomes us.

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