family & I

a song and an ode

never want to go to sleep

never want to close my eyes

never want to wake and see I’ve got

no feeling in my thighs

/

hope i’ll see you one day

i’ll be by your side

we’ll look out at the ocean

we’ll hear the seagulls cry

/

i’ll walk along the muddy path

back up to my home

cast the doors wide open

hear footsteps that roam

/

there’ll be no one waiting there

the rooms are dark, and mine is shallow

my family’s whispers in the air

(and i said i didn’t care…)

/

never want to go to sleep

never want to close my eyes

never want to wake up and see

your cold bodies lying wise

/

so now i’ve got a tooth ache

with all this info coming in

the changes are a coming to me

and my patience wearing thin

/

it’s that special time of year

gifts a’ giving and love a’ rubbing

but all i hear is the crash of waves

the past is trashed and my mind’s a mess

/

these foes: my thoughts, my family collide

with desperate speed and hostile vengeance

weave in and out of my mind –

like the tears spill over the page

/

they are my kin and in that i sin

to call them foes is to call me spy;

but i do not denigrate their being

as my deepest love for them testifies

/

my wish is to heal the scars of time

but more than time it takes to break

these time immortal habits lacking

the true understanding i hope to make

/

i never want to go to sleep

i never want to close my eyes

i never want to wake up to

a world without my family by

 

– December 19, 2012

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